Even And The Odds
by SEISKINK
Summary: It was filled with honour, grace and respect. Too bad great things do not last long. [ClarexJean friendship]
1. The Sense of Us

Even And The Odds

Disclaimer: Norihiro Yagi owns Claymore. Not me.

Warning: Spoilers for later arcs.

**Chapter One: The Sense of Us**

The sound of footsteps continued to resound against her, subtle and firm with every stride. It was the same throughout every terrain they had walked in and out of, jungles and beside narrow streams, yet she still could not get accustomed to it. It reminded her of the past, not even close to the present but could possibly be rehearsed in the future.

She stopped. The one behind her stopped too. She was at a loss for words, normally only deeming conversation when there was something necessary to convey. This could count as such a case, but what would she tell the latter?

Clare stared at Jean. Jean did not stare back, keeping her gaze slightly downcast while mantaining eye contact. Even only in an old black cape, she continued to look like a warrior with her trademark aura of dignity. It came so naturally to her that it sometimes made Clare wonder if Jean realized it and if not, whether she herself was experience the same thing and not realizing the real image she was exuding.

" How long are you going to keep following me?" Clare enquired with a neutral tone.

" As said, until I have repaid my debt," Jean replied with the same answer she gave not long ago.

Her voice hinted no irritation and frustration. Clare herself neither really felt irritated nor frustrated. The atmosphere was not an awkward one, both were used to following or being followed. The matter itself did not concern the organization directly, but Clare thought it was unappropriate to ask her to go away just like that.

Jean was, after all, a single digit. Furthermore, taking into account the events that happened mere days ago, it was best for her to have the company of a fellow warrior, especially one of much higher rank, in case they encountered a similar ambush.

" You have contributed much to the fight with the awakened ones," Clare raised the argument again, hoping this time it would somehow be more convincing. " So technically, you have saved my life."

" No," Jean replied. Clare expected the same answer again and that was what given. " It is only right for comrades to aid one another in time of battle. What you did was beyond that boundary."

" You should head back to the organization," Clare suggested, trying her best not to be offensive. " There must be many other jobs you are to take as a single digit."

" I don't think so," Jean said. " The organization would probably have heard of what happened with us through Galatea. We shouldn't put her at a difficult position by returning, remember that she's trying her best to cover up for both of us."

" How can you be so sure?" Clare asked.

" You yourself are too," Jean gave an undefinite answer. " Or is it me bothering you in some way?"

The same neutral tone. Clare hesitated once more and decided to take a step back before replying. Revising and omcparing their respective routines, Jean's actions were not an inconvenient hindrance to Clare.

Discreetly, Clare had been attempting to escape from Jean. A couple of times she abruptly left when they were bathing in separate areas. At first she felt pangs of guilt, which died down upon realizing that Jean had caught up with her.

Clare had been so focused with it that she did not even thought of sparring with Jean. At leas they had one thing in common, being unshakable when determinedly directing their attention at something.

" Yes," Clare finally replied. " But it actually has nothing to do with you."

* * *

Subconsciously, Clare picked up her pace after hearing news related to Raki. It was a gamble she took, going to the north to find him while carrying out her mission to fight awakened beings. A high chance he would be there and if she was to die, at least she could leave him with a proper farewell.

" Are you still thinking about it?" Jean inquired casually, a rare time when she striked up a conversation instead of mantaining her stealth.

Snapped out of her reverie, Clare slowed down for a moment before regaining speed. " Yes. After this, I might not be able to make it out alive." This time she assumed a realistic point of view, no hopes and promises attached, even to herself.

" The boy Rubel mentioned…he really is important to you." Jean got straight to the point, saying it as if she was affirming something rather than making a statement.

Clare need not think twice. " Yes."

" There will be many warriors at Pieta," Jean supplied. " Depending on the circumstances, I am able to take up both our duties for the time being. You can use that time for finding him."

" Repaying your debt?" Clare asked.

" No, helping comrades," Jean corrected. What their kind did for one another more often than not fell under those two categories. " For us, it is rare to have someone we care for more than anything else."

Her words brought about the memory of Teresa, and she hurriedly pushed the image of her away. Clare knew it would eventually led to more memories and tears that she did not have sufficient strength to surpress in that moment.

" You're right," She agreed, her voice soft. " Do you have such a person yourself?"

" I don't think so," Jean answered. " I just care for whoever I'm trying to protect, no one in particular."

' As expected from a person of selfless character,' Clare thought, a faint smile subconsciously gracing her lips. Jean looked surprised for a brief second, but in response did the same thing. The atmosphere between them seemed to become more relaxed, even the hovering silence was comfortable.

" Well," Clare disrupted the moment. " I'll at least get you some clothes, you will definitely get stared at walking into town like that. Helping comrades?"

* * *

First Claymore fic. Feedbacks are appreciated D 


	2. The Battle Within

**Chapter Two: The Battle Within**

As they set foot into Pieta, they could instantly identify some warriors. Clare had a brief reunion with some old acquaintances, some who were surprised as it seemed to them that Jean treated the number fourty-seven as if she was a higher rank, if that was possible. Jean though, was the least perturbed at the comment.

Clare did not really intend on asking for her opinion, but she gave it anyway. " I treat a warrior like a warrior. Besides, I owe you my life."

" Enough of that," Clare demanded, as they continued to walk shoulder to shoulder. Deep down, she thought it was beginning to get embarassing, like they were starcrossed lovers or something.

When they parted ways for their respective duties, Clare considered other things concerning Jean. The incident of her awakening and reversing back was a miracle worth to tell the others who met a similar situation. Who knows, picking up tips from the experience might help them in combat later on.

Not only that, she was also worried that Jean or anyone else would awaken and she could not apply the same technique again. She had yet to know how to accomplish it properly, hence it was better for the others—especially Miria—to help analyze it so it would have a higher chance of succeeding.

Settling down at a quiet area, she halted and grasped the hilt of her sword. Another chance to practice her flash sword. If she had yet to strengthen herself in one aspect, she would simply advert her attention to another. By and by it was every warrior for herself, but fate entwined them in such a way that death would affect another.

* * *

The two met up with each other in the evening, coincidentally just as the sun was setting down the horizon. Clare could not help but felt disturbed by the sunset, it was as if their meeting was timed to be dramatic.

Shoving the feeling aside, she turned to Jean and got to the subject at hand. " Do you remember what I told you about my discussion with the other warriors?" She started.

" Yes," Jean replied, catching on fast. " Go ahead if you want to inform them about my awakening, I won't mind."

" Actually, we are having another meeting later tonight and I'd like you to come along," Clare requested. " That way, the impossible would look more possible and you could learn better on how I did it, so you can do it too on yourself when I'm not around."

" Technically it is merely aligning yoki with the other warrior," Jean recited. " But it requires a strong emotional basis…which I doubt could be developed in a short time."

" Are you doubting the strength of our comrades?" Clare asked, for Jean was not stating her view in a haughty fashion.

" No," Jean affirmed. " But the experience is not the same for everyone."

" How so?" Clare enquired. " I've been there before. It was as described, a tempting feeling of intermixed pain and ecstacy."

" I felt the same thing and more," Jean explained. " I had thoughts. Voices in my head, telling me that the moment I awaken is the moment I can truly be me. Then my conscience reminded me of my true purpose, to protect humans and no way I can do that after awakening. It also told me that the real me has been dead since a long time ago, when this body was thwarted."

" And those thoughts supposedly constrained you," Clare expressed her understanding.

" Probably," Jean agreed. " Deep down, we are still in some ways human. Humans who don't function in the same way and have the same mentality."

" Humans can also influence," Clare stated. " I think it'll be the least of a challenge for you, taking into account that you trust us."

" I have always trusted you," Jean affirmed. It was then she made her decision, not being a particularly calculative person, trusting one person was enough. " Alright then, I'll go with you."


	3. The Seperation of Souls

**Chapter Three: The Seperation of Souls**

She could not believe. One by one, her comrades dropped down dead, some even without realizing it. Yet instead of stopping the multiple attack once and for all, she stood rooted to the ground, at an utter loss of what to do.

If they, the smarter and stronger ones, could not even defend themselves once from whatever it was, what chances did she have of rescuing them? A rational thought, but the bottom line was that she was simply a selfish person.

She would not believe. One of the last few struck down was Jean, hands firmly gripped onto the sword, ever ready to die while doing a warrior's job. Her eyes followed the movement of the falling body, absently reminding her of the time Teresa's head was completely severed by that monster.

Right. She was helpless then. But at least her actions, no matter how weak they maybe, could at least make a little difference. Right. She was useless no more, now, she had more power and chance than that faithful time.

If she could not save, she would kill. One way or the other, she made her decision. Clare unleashed a fraction of her yoki and advanced.

* * *

Why must those who were much more worthy than her, die?

Why couldn't it be her instead?

Clare preferred not to think in what presumably was the last few moments of her life, but it was when Jean appeared that the two questions penetrated her mind, admist the whirlpool of emotions within her.

Even in that wrecked form, Jean's inner self managed to shine through, akin to a reliable saviour. Perhaps that was the best of her strength, saved for the last so she could plunge into death with glory. But Clare refused to admire it, for she did not want to see her die for the second time.

Jean raised her bloody hands to caress Clare's cheeks softly, any wince she might have emitted was insignificant.

" You can still be saved," She whispered. " Lets just do what we did last time."

" No," Clare managed to argue. " Just heal your wounds so you can be saved!"

" It's useless," Jean answered. " I'm an offensive warrior..and I don't have much time left. Come on, align your yoki with mine."

Hot tears welled up in Clare's eyes, blurring her vision further. There was the possibility of her failing to reverse back, thus wasting Jean's efforts and in the end, both of them would die.

No, she could not allow that. If the two of them failed, then they would fail as warriors and not defeated ones. She should have done this a long time ago, resolving not to disappoint anyone no matter what.

Jean would want to die with pride, and not in vain. She would want to die knowing she died as a human, for a human, for a friend. It was the least Clare could do.

" Don't regret this," Clare bade her farewell, closing her eyes and aligning her yoki with Jean's.

Jean did the same. " It's what I live for. Now my debt is repayed."

For a brief while they felt a surge of emotions, drawing them close and interlacing their souls. Clare received the warmth generously given to her and before she knew it, Jean was gone.

* * *

The first thing Clare did when she regained consciousness, was not even to check if she was back to being human, but instantly hugging onto Jean's corpse. It was getting colder rapidly, all heat and life drained away.

Clare could not even register what she was crying out then, nor did she care. Why must it be you? You don't deserve to die for me. I can only do so little, you could do much more. I wish I was stronger, even if it was just so you could die saving a more worthy person. And so on, and so forth.

Suddenly, Deneve slapped her hard on the cheek.

" Get up," She admonished. " It's still not over. Jean didn't die for this."

Her action was a wake-up call for Clare, as the truth slowly dawned upon her. Indeed, it was still not over. What could kill them was still out there. Jean did not die for this. Jean died, so Clare could fight for herself and her comrades. It was not Clare's time to be done and if she was finished now, her promise was no more of an empty one.

" Thank you," She told Deneve gratefully. " Now I'm ready."

_I won't let you down._


	4. The One I Am

**Chapter Four: The One I Am**

Not long after they awoke from their temporary slumber, the living warriors set off to hold their own funeral for their dear comrades, who were not fortunate enough to survive the ordeal.

Clare was able to recover quickly and got busy setting up Jean's grave. Everything she did without shedding even a single tear, for that would be dishonourable for the dead latter.

She, who had initially came to seek closure, instead found a new point to begin. Clare's goal of revenge was not diminished, but fueled with many other reasons. She also remained persistant in searching for Raki. No matter how long it took, she just could not leave him waiting and hanging.

What to be done next was left for another day. Clare focused on the task at hand, veiling the last of Jean's serene face with snow. Now for the final task.

Carefully, she gripped the hilt of Jean's Claymore and stuck it firmly above where her corpse was supposed to be. The freshly polished metal shone, reflecting the sunlight. With that, she had finished what she could do for now.

To achieve greatness, one would have to sacrifice something equally great. More often than not, the sacrifice would not be you. Because without you, there would be no dream. Jean proved that wrong and by sacrificing herself, she achieved more than greatness.

Life was unfair, and that was that. All you could do was to set things right.

Clare let her hand linger on the hilt for a moment, then withdrew half-heartedly and went over to Flora's grave, not looking back. She never did.

It would be a long time until she could thank Jean again, face to face. And even that would not be enough.

* * *

Hi again...someone mentioned that the old kind of formatting is hard to read, so I went back to fix it. Sorry... 


End file.
